Now it comes around again.
Just like you saw in the synchronicity.
Just like last time.
Just like it did the other time.
Do not sell your voice and vote.
Not this time.
Your sovereignty is more important.
As for now.
Very dangerous taking sides now.
Stay neutral. Stay on the side-line.
Save yourself. First.
You owe them nothing.
Not after what they have done to you.
They owe it to themselves.

You know what is coming.
You can feel it.
Play it safe.
You know what happened last time.
Do not risk it.
Not with what is escalating in the world.
There is a reason why those were the best years.
Next year, it is over.
The effects of your previous choice.
And now you know why.

Now is not the time to rock the boat.
Stay safe. Be safe. Persevere.

– A friend 🧁


the unknown is by far one of the hardest things you can do in life – because it has never been done before. Nor can it be defined. Because the moment it is, it is known.

Realising this, one can assume that knowledge grows. You grow knowledge. And the more of it you have grown, the greater the foundation which constitutes your understanding. It takes knowledge to understand, but understanding to truly know.

This is why one should collect ideas. Because they are mental fertilisers.
All creation is merging of two or more different components. Because if there were no merging, everything would be in equilibrium. All destruction is the separation of two or more components.
This regardless of portion in the energy spectrum.

The mind thinking is a very volatile place if you are a true thinker. Constantly ideas merge and separate from each other. Like atoms and molecules. The more exotic the combination of ideas, the easier it is to reach the unknown.

Since the unknown is surrounding the known, it is not hard to reach per se. The hard part is to separate yourself from the known. As to say, to some extent destroy the automatic and autonomous nature of the ego – that is looping you back from the edge of the unknown through ideas such as denial, disbelief and doubt.
Once you reach the edge of the known, it like looking out from a window on an airplane. You have a vague idea what is there, but you cannot really fathom it.
That is when you initiate the growth of ideas.

It is as easy as it is hard. Because it has not been done before.
It is easy to do, just create something new.
The hard part is to integrate it.
And the even harder part is when it starts to question and challenge the integrity of what you knew. Because now your integrity and therefore entire definition of reality is in question.
This is usually where people loop back into the known.
They simply become scared of their mental platform being challenged.

Takes quite a lot of mental integrity to traverse the unknown.
Metaphorically, it is like walking in a deep forest, having no idea what is in it.
And your sight extends only a few meters ahead of you.

Integrity in that sense, is a ‘frienemy’ – because it can protect you if you are properly aware. But it can also inhibit you if you are unaware. As to say, one can be contained within one’s own ideas of reality. And it has composed ideas that in an automatic fashion loops the thinker back to ‘safety’.

Everyone wants to be safe. Because they are scared absolutely shitless of the unknown.
Downright terrified. Because deep within, they know they do not know. So their integrity is simply denial. Assuming to know and creating a mental barrier to the edge of the known. A kind of mental and intellectual insulation.
“It is not real”

Real is just an idea.
Nothing more. Nothing less.
Whatever you associate and ascribe to that idea will manifest as your reality.
Since most people are given an intellectual template which they never question, they rarely stray from the known. Denial, disbelief and doubts blocks them.

What do you know?
Truly. Because it is a good question. One of the better actually.
Because when you start to question yourself that question, you realise just how little you do know. If you stop asking that question, you loop back into the known.

So in conclusion, the fastest way to reach the unknown, is to question what you know.
You see now you are mentally engaged in the process of growing ideas. You have to. You have no choice.
A question is the receptive mental component, the attractive, the sensual and before your very ideas dancing concept that spark an answer. A formulated idea.
Combined they create something new. Hopefully.
The better your question, the greater the potential for a good idea in the shape of answer. And the better you are at questioning your answers, the more rapid the mental expansion.

So at first, you have to mentally grow towards the unknown by questioning all you know. Once you know what you know, how little that is, and its level of integrity – now comes the process of assimilation. Integrating ideas into what you think you know. This is the process of growing integrity. And you absolutely need it.
The integrity of your arranged knowledge, the sum of your ideas, is your mental vessel with which you traverse the unknown.
If it is not sufficiently integrated and of a strong integrity, you will lose yourself in the unknown.

Does not mean it is catastrophic, but it could be.
Your mind once it traverses outside the collectively known, operates in the fashion of a space station, or submarine. It is now its own enclosed mental intellectual system. Navigating the depths of the unknown.
And assuming infinity, that ought to be mind-boggling to say the least.

But it is also your greatest source of intellectual harvest.
If you are good at combining ideas and concepts in an integrated manner, now your intellectual entity grows, and your ability to traverse the unknown increases.

From what I have seen in the unknown, it is not even a question to me why the vast majority of humans are absolutely terrified of it. To the very point that they even deny that.
They take “reality” for granted.
But essentially, the definition of reality, the arrangement of ‘known’ is little more than an energetic arrangement.

The more novel and sophisticated that arrangement, the more attractive it becomes.
You are terrified, but your curiosity grabs you.
This because growth is life. As long as you are truly alive, you will be curious.
Otherwise you are dead. If not in your biological arrangement, so in your mental.

You must have and accept the unknown if you want to be alive. Truly alive.
Because it is only on that mental edge, where you can glimpse into whatever the fuck life actually is. And is not. If it even is. Why do I even write this?

I take comfort in being terrified before the unknown. I have been it for so long that my statement that the unknown is my best friend is no light expression.
I am constantly attempting to integrate newly grown ideas into my intellectual arrangement.

You see, I have a tremendously huge ego – but not in the conventional meaning of that saying. Because my ego is not autonomous by means of intellect. It has not been programmed to automatically loop back into the known through denial, disbelief and doubt.
Like the ones with small egos.
Usually, the people you say have a “huge ego” actually has a very small ego. Because they neither question themselves nor what they know – they take the reality for granted the way they have defined it. A very narrowminded and smallminded way to operate whatever the fuck existence actually is. No I am not excusing my cursing, because you need to realise the importance of this.
If you take offense from a linguistically arranged symbol with no actual meaning in the greater aspect of things – that is an absolute proof you have a very small mind.
You do not even question why you take offense from it. You do not question the context.
In fact, you probably do not question anything at all. More than what you should eat today.

Why can you eat?
What is that?
Beyond biological integration in the physical spectrum of energy.
As I said, why and how am I even writing this?
Not in the light sense of the words, but as in.. you know, and you do not know?
What is all of this.
Who are you.
Why are you reading this?
Right now?
Why does this happen?

That is just the awareness triggers that everyone needs to have.
The ongoing questioning of the perceived reality.
Once you crystallise a perfect definition of it, you are mentally stagnating.
Because now you are not attempting to integrate new ideas.
Now you are comparing your ideas to other ideas.
And since your definition of “reality” is perfect, it is dead.
It will not grow. It will not become anything more.
Because you think you know.

And you will never explore the unknown as long as you think you know.
Because you must literally think what you do not know to traverse the unknown.

It is

that mind-numbing confusion that comes with being awake.
When all the zombies are.
Thoughts that are not your own.
Desires that are not your own.
The cancer screaming “I am right, I am right!”
Even though they refuse to explain it properly.
The fatties screaming “It is mine, it is mine!”
Even though they already have more than they can shove their fat faces.
The losers screaming “I am so depressed, so depressed!”
Even though they rarely have any real reason to be.
I just observe them.

There is this strategy; kill by kindness.
Feed your enemy to death.
These ones does it themselves.
All you have to do is watch.
If you tell them that, they eat more.

It almost got me.
That fucked up insanity.
Damn it was close.
Almost killed my kid.
Never again.

I hold mine close.
And watch all the fat fucks who cannot.
Slowly give in. Slowly give up.
No raging against the dying of the light in them.
They put it out themselves instead.

Then they complain over cancer.
Over whatever they get.
I do not give a fuck.
They are just noise.
And I like silence.

They be gone soon.
Because they have no real interest in the future.
They only want more.

But never more life.

If you are not one of those, regardless of appearance,
then you earn my respect.
It might not be much to the world at whole..
but you can take pride knowing you earned it for real.
As I try to keep it authentic. (“Real” to ‘gangstas’)


do not worry.
I never share my best ideas.
These are just thoughts I animated several mental generations ago.

My best ideas I do not yet know how to put into formulated intellect.
It does not translate. Yet.

The absolute edge of known science is like one of those upgrades in a strategy game. You have to wait for bio-components of a colony, the human resources, to develop them.
By means of observing the temporal progression of any entity, you get a fairly good idea where they are heading. That applies on individuals as much as countries.

Synchronicity arranges itself on a carrier wave. In the temporal, that would be the swing of the planet. It spiralling according to a gravitational rhythm.
If you know that, then you know that the synchronicity today is affected by the gravitational fluctuations in the temporal, past and future.
Hence the ability to foresee future arrangement by observing the present arrangement. The gravitational melody is often more similar than you think.
It is the celestial genetic code, after all.
How repetitive is your life?


the reason for it, if asking me.
If what I see in my visions/nightmares/psychosis/premonitions/callitwhatthefuck for the future turns true – you will not have a choice. At all. You thought the quarantine was bad – that was life as usual to me. It collapsed your peoples entire fucking lives. Quite fair, come to think of it. And they have still not figured out why it happened. Where the original idea came from.

It was just a test. ^^
You know, like the fire-larm thing.

No doomsday or anything. It is probably a while.
But relativistic synchronicity is amusing to observe.
Everything makes sense, because it is the same pattern.
Just slightly faster animated.

The concept of directions in evolution is not as wrong as one might think.
But it requires to follow them properly for long enough.
I have the bad feeling that in the future,
I will be able to look back and say:
‘we thought ww2 was bad’.

War is not necessarily between countries.
There are different ways to fraction and fight.
Divide and conquer.

The holocaust started as a discussion around desirability.

I need to know this shit, it is part of understanding in entropy resistance.
My body is literally a cellular colony, if I wish to develop life extension capacity, it needs to be properly developed. That goes for all scales.
Hilariously enough with you people, you have a tendency to kill off the progressive deviants that actually drives evolution. Well, at least up until recently, speaking centuries.
You want the perfect society.
The problem with that is that perfect means dead.
That is why I distance myself from those people.
Which is essentially all society. More or less.
Not so much in the smaller towns.


is how I would model a society if I were the ruler.
(Which I am over the kingdom of my body, the conglomerate of cells, the congregation of biological entities, my homeostatic construct, my energetic arrangement.)

I would keep the basic template simple, so that it is easily transmitted.
But it needs to add to itself, as to say be allowing of perpetual growth.

I manifest myself as such:
No physical manifestation of intentional imposition on another being.
Because restoration is the hardest in the physical, as energy condenses slow.
But freedom of expression mentally – meaning intellectually, artistically, digitally and financially.
That calls for mental integrity. A transition into that will be hard, since most people are absolutely weak mentally these days. They have no mental integrity. That is why they need all artifice to maintain. Censoring. Isolation. Suppression. Oppression.

It must be kept simple, otherwise the integration will be impossible.
This is why animals do not use intellect. It is retarded.
It allows for conscious evolution, but only if the body, the biological entity is aware of it consciously. Otherwise it is just an AI going full retard. Which is essentially the entire human society. And it is getting worse.

Social credit will be the fascism of this century.
Because it was back then as well.
Credit is intellect.
Or intellectualised perception.

So just wait and see.
Humankind, curious kind.

I like to imagine society after this mental image;
that of a sphere.

Not a pyramid. That is the retarded form.
The core is the governing organ of that entity.
The outermost layer is the lowest class.
That is the receipt of your society.
The actual appearance of the entity.
Makeup is make-belief; propaganda or coverup.
Whatever image, a society is only as good as its worst.
In appearance to others. That goes for all. On all levels.
It is not easy to integrate into Sweden for example.
Because not even Swedes know what that means.
Artifice. An artificial construct arranged by semi-conscious intelligence.
But that is natural. A part of evolution.
We are already ahead somewhat.
As we are mostly neutral in conflict externally.
Openminded and comparably well balanced in most aspects.
A couple of centuries more and Sweden will be there.
(No joke, even if it comes off as such.
I mean for real. If we maintain the cycle of progression)

It is not about size.
Or mass.
Never were.
All about efficiency.
Ask the military.

Keep upgrading the infrastructure like religiously.
And get the unemployed to do it. Who can.
And give them their liberties meanwhile.
It is the intellectual retardation that fucks it up.
Social credit – I rest my case.

Night time

Always beats daytime.
Because during night,
the local ego sleeps.
Much easier to think.
Easier to lucid dream.

No tox in the aether.
No noise in the local.
No never-ending ego.
No eye-paining duality.
Peace, calm and clarity.

Love is easier in the night.
Love is far more powerful.
No filter. No nonsense.
No daily disputes.
No daily chores.

I recall your song.
I remember the say.
I will never forget it ever.
It captured it so eloquently.
Peace can only be in harmony.

And harmony only happens,
when the collective ego sleeps.
I like the mental silence it invokes.
The peaceful resting for the thoughts.
Not disturbed by millions awake minds.

Rave In Peace:


tends to change with time. Most certainly understanding.
It was fun going through the paintings I painted some years ago.
I have like 80 paintings in circulation around the world.
Most in Sweden, but I know one is in Russia and another maybe in Romania.
One in France and one in The UK.
If I ever make it big, people will have a fecking field day trying to figure out in which order I painted them. Since the serial numbers are scrambled.
Just to make things more “artsy”.

This is the third (actual) painting I ever painted.
Funny times, funny memories.
It was around when I began acquainting my brain with the omnipresent existence of the Universe. The living nature of the energetic forces arranging life into being. The entity-level of celestial structures. And some symbolic associations to it to fine-tune my memories from the future. Now I can clearly see why I picked such obvious symbolism.

Acrylic on canvas; 50x50cm
Painted somewhere in the 2014


Det är ett sätt jag ser det.
Att minnas saker, handlar inte så mycket om mängd detaljer, men hur väl du förstår de som du valde att minnas.

Minnet är spännande, för det är inte att man förutser, utan snarare i vilken progression rytmer förekommer. Intellekt är inget annat än symboler arrangerade. Minnen är desamma. Så det handlar inte så mycket om symbolerna som kontexten till dem. För det är det övergripande arrangemanget som symbolerna följer.
Minnen kondenserar likt cymatiska illustrationer i sinnet. Symboler arrangerar sig ovanpå den mentala bärvåg som man opererar efter i den stunden.

Närhet är relativt till minne.
Biofysisk influens är extradimensionell.
Så minnen arrangerar sig baserat på energisk dynamik.
Du känner någon som du minns dem.

Extraperception från det undermedvetna följer den energiska dynamiken oavsett om den arrangerade kognitionen som renderar uppfattad medvetenhet förstår det eller inte.
Du minns annorlunda, inte för att minnet ändras. Utan för att du ändras.
Din hjärna är en funktionsgenerator. Du förlorar inte minnen.
Du förlorar förmågan att animera dem.
Därför måste man regenerera minnen.
Du minns saker du repeterar,
för du repeterar inte symbolerna.
Du repeterar resonansen.
Som arrangerar symbolerna.
Likt en papegoja som härmar ljud.
Bara att du inte uppfattar det så.
Därför även vikten i funktionell homeostas.
Du tar inte hand om dig för poäng.
Utan för att du kan inte oscillera korrekt annars.

Därför kan du förstå dina minnen annorlunda om du återbesöker dem efter att du eller din omgivning ändrats. För kontexten till det arrangemanget ändras.

Tid är inte lineär.
Planetens rörelse är.

Därför även vikten i “mantra”.
Det handlar inte om vad du säger.
Det handlar mer om hur du säger det.
Resonerar, oscillerar, animerar, säger det.


Så hade jag en dröm.
Jag har inte delat denna tidigare.
Utom när det hände till mina vänner.

Jag var på festival.
Hyfsat berusad.
I Karlskoga.

Den natten hade jag en dröm om en polis
som jag gav en blomma till.
Jag förstod det inte då.
Men jag minns det,
för vi skämtade om det.
Mina vänner och jag.
Som i att min fantasi
inte kunde välja bättre.
(Rebeller som vi var)
Och för att det var en vacker polis där.
Som de försökte pusha mig till att stöta på.
När vi gick in och ut från området.

Kom att tänka på det tidigare idag.
Det hade fallit ur minnet.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Ibland är det som att
ditt hela liv är förutbestämt.
Och det pressar det
i ansiktet på dig.
Så att du blir
Som i att:
“haha, kolla här om du kan”
“Så här lite makt har du över livet”

Det är som att jag visste innan jag älskade dig att jag skulle.
Som tid beskrivs i kvantteori så är det fullt möjligt.
Jag vet bara en sak säkert.
Jag är glad att jag gav den.

För det gör mig lycklig.
Det är som att Universum leker med mig.
Med den kärlek jag känner för dig.
Förstärker den. Får den att kännas mer.
Även om den inte är “verklig”.

Jag vet inte om Universum får det att hamna hos dig på något vis.
Men jag hoppas det gör dig lika lycklig.
Annars kan du skatta dig lycklig med att din blotta existens gör mitt liv lyckligare.

Rostat bröd

med apelsinmarmelad.

Det är ditt minne.
Och viss musik.
Avtrycket du lämnade.
I mitt minne.

Eto bol’no.

Var det ett år sedan?
Tio, tjugo.. trettio?
Vad säger tiden egentligen.
Hur skulle du veta.
När den är relativ.

Tvoy potseluy.

I drömmen.
Mot mardrömmen.
I tiden.
Där bakom.
Du sjöng så fint.

Moy sladkiy tanzherin.

Ibland undrar jag.
Om du lever än.
Jag vet inte ens.
Om jag vill veta.

Vo veki vekov.


my friend. There is nothing in “this world” that can bring me down.
Because I love life.

You know.
Having lived with neverending pain, internal bleedings, on-and-off fever, permanent starvation due to compromised digestion, rheumatism, societal impositions through mainly the psychiatry, bullying, censoring, oppression and whatelse not for more than thirty years.

There is nothing in “this world” that can bring me down.
I can only bring myself down. Thus I will not.
Because I love I. And I am life.

You should try to adapt a similar mindset.
You love life because it sucks.
You love life because it does not suck.
You fucking love life and you fucking smile.
(Metaphorically, not that freaky smile thing some do)
Like a good properly brought up kid that does not get what they want at Christmas.
It is hard, yes. But you fucking love that as well.

That is how you survive. Because now you have something to live for.
You live to love life. So it perpetuates itself.

And sometimes

I catch myself thinking that I have a rush doing anything – like playing all my games.
Then perspective catches up.
I have lived thirty-two.
That is hundred-and-ninety less.
It obviously was not the last decade.

I feel calm. Whatever that thing, hazy thing, on my path in the future, granting me the ability to prolong that far. I am curious. Human progress is interesting. I can sense it, but I cannot make sense of it. You know if you have had visions of the future. I have that, but it looks so different. So much will happen the coming century. So much.

Life is your longest wait ever.


Like a pleasant knock on the open door,
warming in the chilling cries for more.
I stare into the darkness pointlessly,
seeing through it all into just you.
essentially to and through.

You are my empirical proof of love.
My emotional reaction to sensation.
My emancipation in a world so cold.
I remember all the memories of you.

Sometimes I wish in calming fever:
That one evening you would call me.
That one morning you would text me.
That one afternoon you would mail me.
That one day you would bump into me.
That one night.. you would grow into me.

Tell me it is just you and me.
Off to wherever, forever.
I have nothing to lose.
No luxury to choose.

If it were with you,
you and only you,
no time to ask,
no hesitation.

I feel your warmth.
I feel your thoughts.
I feel your feelings.
All but paining noughts.

Some love never die.
Because it never was.
It never something became.
Took no shape in the reality.

I know that the probability,
is in and of itself insignificant.
But it is the slight disappearing,
chance that keeps me up in life.

That one day maybe.
That is worth it all.
When it comes,
to only you.

In my feverdreams,
neverending and eternal.

This one

aged really well.
It is a good one.

Because it goes both ways.
In different perspectives.
In all conceptualisations.

Why does ‘she’ sound like ‘chi’? ^^

So when you get it, you realise that this has little to do with body shapes, but all about conceptualisation. For example: What do you think ‘inception’ could be an innuendo for? Regardless of dimension?


en bild från 2013, 24 år gammal, när jag gick igenom mina gamla kameror.
Det är samma hår, men när jag beslutade att spara det.

En sisådär hundratrettio livstider sen. I min uppfattning av tiden.
Så många tusen klardrömmar efter att jag tog den här bilden.

Bara för dig.
Och den ‘dig’ jag menar, ingen annan.

Life is

so long.
Yet so short.

When I look back at all I have created.

And how little space it requires once properly organised.
Thirty-two years of memories arranged into efficient organisation in my bookshelf.
It feels easier to think somehow.

When the superficial has been organised and arranged, I will take to the digital.
I have like eighty percent of all I have ever written or created backed up.

Shapeshifting, consciously, in all spectra of energy.
Life is curious. Too curious to bother with comparison.

Remember, child.
Remember your child – it means. To me.
A symbolic extension of chi.
Your innocence.
Inner essence.


the best felt discovery of 2020.
That summer will go down as one of the better in my life (Weirdly enough). Probably the best since I got disabled thus far.

Comes with high.. recommendation, their entire catalogue, if you like quality music and art.
Just an innocent shout-out. ^^


respect is for all those who struggle against the ego.
And all those who understands what that means in its entirety.
Because the ego also likes being against itself.
So it is easy running its errands without knowing it.

It is by far, without competition, the hardest battle of modern human life.
Because it knows your every move. Your every thought. In every you.
The more of it you have, the more of it you have to lose. To it.

Remember, the ego will never trust itself.
Because the ego is an imposition from its very conception.
As hard to get rid off and defeat as cancer is.
Because it expands in the same pattern as cancer.

That is why human society spreads in the pattern of cancer.
Because it is the human ego that arranges its expansion.
Good or bad is only definitions in the ego itself.
Hence why it is so hard to defeat and overcome.

It literally tells you what is good or bad.
Right or wrong.
And navigates you with it.

If you become a target to it, every predominantly ego-driven person on the planet will judge you. That is how it removes dissidents.

I love the new idea of vaccination passes.
I mean, that is some next level apartheid shit.
Will unvaccinated get a tattoo as well?
A star on the arm? As a segregated subjugated and oppressed class of citizens?

We did not learn jack shit.
This idea would be one of the wettest dream of the fascists, commies as well for that matter.
We are as retarded as the ego.

I can only hope that science tests accurate, and that the vaccination is a scalar expression of apoptosis in human biomass. Genetically programmed self destruction due to corrupt or misaligned arrangement found in oneself. They are imposing by enforcing it, which is cancerous. So the logical response in the natural homeostasis would be for them to kill themselves when the overlapping system kicks in.
I do not care, the vaccine seems entirely an ego-thing.
Because the ego-driven seem most manic about it.

I am not against the vaccine, what-the-ever. To each their own ofc.
I am against the egotistical imposition of trying to enforce oneself onto others.
Because that is cancer. And according to the NWO conspiracies, cancer will not be welcome.
So I assume it is the waiting game if you refuse to take it. Synchronistically speaking, the mass death will occur in the coming decades.

Hence my respect to those who battles it by not falling victims to the imposition.

Plot twist

Over a hundred years ago they thought themselves too sophisticated for war.
Went to war to solve the last issues. The last war.

Then followed probably the most atrocious wars in the modern segment of the human genome; after the last DNA-reset.

If you think, even remotely think, that we are over war in humanity, you are already manifesting it subconsciously.
It has already started in the cities, when you think about it. Some fuck gets shot every other day these days. In Sweden.
It is not only our fault. It is by design. It is a cyclic thing. As sure as the fall arrives every year.
It just manifests differently.
Humans are ego-driven, hence superficial competition. Therefore superficial war. It will manifest somehow in us.

The very best we can do is move the conflict into the intellectual.
But it will still be a war. Make no mistake. And people will die.
Bureaucracy is fascism hidden in intellectual sophistry.
Designed to ‘weed out’ undesirables with exclusion.
If you think we have learned even a slight shit.
You have not learned even a slight shit.

The genocide marches on.

There will be war.
Make no mistake.

The imposing restriction following the artificial response to the global infection is a war on the liberties granted by merely being alive.
War is already here.

The killing is not even out of the changing room yet.


är vad jag kände när du tog mig i hand.
Kan du föreställa dig?
En miljon minnen på en gång.
Tusentals orgasmer.
Miljarder tårar.
Triljoner leenden.
Lika många smärtor.
Rädsla, panik, ångest, nyfikenhet, glädje, kärlek – du.

Var rad i din dagbok som ung. Varje ord.
Varje minne när de sa de där sakerna om dig.
Varje fantasi, varje skuldfylld njutning. Drömmar.
Varje arrangerat hjärtslag, vart kompletterade andetag.
Varje hårstrå på din kropp.
Varje cell skapt av din genkod.

Varje sekund på din kurs genom existensen.
Ditt allt, ditt hela du.
Omöjligt att inte älska.

Jag ser med mina händer.