Saw you today

old friend. It was many years ago now.
At least in that context.
I think we lost contact in 2015.
No matter though. It is just a symbolic position.
In the genetic animation. The probability crystallised.

It is as you told me.
All the way back then.
Curious, how symbols resurface.
How the synchronicity beats over time.

Made me wonder.
I think you said something about it back then.
You are probably one of the very few who would have appreciated the chat.
Not like the ones certain they are correct.

Entire symbols, animated events, become ‘words’ in the language of life eventually.
And it snowballs. It amplifies in efficiency exponentially.
Soon entire conglomerates of human biomass speak like a book.
It is just condensed symbols expressing, energetic constructs animating arranged genes.

You know, you look at a person.
And in a couple of sentences combined with behaviour, intonation, intellectual modulation of the emotional carrier wave – you see more of them.
But then you realise that the entire person is just one piece of a symbol.
The symbol of the entire day. Which is of the week. Which is of the month.
Which is for the so and so on.
Pretty soon the temporal landscape unfolds before you.
It is as much perception as it is efficient calculation of probability.
The human brain is energetically speaking a quantum computer.
Without superficial intellect completely fluent in animation.

Everything you see, hear and touch is a calculation and estimation.
Not calculation like some think of it, superficial intellect through externalised symbolism.
But raw thinking. Your intellectual calculation happens because of subconscious calculation.
Neurological homeostasis.
Not many adults are able to think outside of language anymore.
In the conventional sense of language.

You read time. It is a language.
A manifestation of probability.
If you are conscious of this, you can alter trajectory without conventional dynamics.
That is why you have manifestation of phenomenon that illustrates this.
Spheres, orbs and uncommon relocation of unidentified aircrafts.
It oscillates so rapidly that the symbolic manifestation in the physical spectrum defies the normal dynamics in that spectrum; to us scientific laws of physics.

I already know of my future discoveries in this.
I just have not developed the conclusion.
It has to be grown. Developed. Evolved.
Like everything you will ever do, have done and do right now.
My future generations of asexual produce, creative output, can be estimated in probability as well.

You have to have a volatile and deviating pattern enough to realise your own repetition.
If your life is too similar, you will not even notice it. You think you do and will, but one does not. If you are aware, it comes down to what you pursuit in existence. Not necessarily only in this life.

When time becomes irrelevant, death will no longer exist.
Time is more like a space. Room. Rooms of time.
Different locations in the endless ocean of energy in different states.
You were. You are. And you will be. All depending on where you reside in time.
Like where you reside in room.

Consciousness animated can only be in one position of time, that is the experiencer.
But it is always symbolic. To varying degree. But always symbolic.
Time is fluid. Not static.
And time changes itself.
One of the more curious phenomenon.

Synchronicity is the reverberating condensation of symbolism, riding the fluid streams in time. It is an ocean of energy abiding by multidimensional dynamics.
It is non-linear. In the same way a three-dimensional space is not flat.
Therefore time changes itself in the eyes of the observer.
Because the nature of intellectual symbolism is fluid.
Hence neuroplasticity. Dynamics across time added to it would result in chronogenetics.
As an extension to neurogenetics.

What I mean to say is,
ah, you know what I mean.
One does not enjoy such exchange often these days.


is not for everyone. It cannot be for everyone.
Death is a part of diversity.
It is not as if it matters anyway.
If one sees beneath.
Everyone tries to reach it, because all assume it.
Those less obsessed with it the most.
That is why they panic in the face of fear.
Immortality can only come from knowing death.
From feeling it. Recognising it.
The force of entropy animating.
And it is grander than you think.
Celestial entropy. The collective animation of the planetary biosphere.
Like basic elements having different half-lives.
As above and so below and all those symbols.
If you allow yourself less scientific restraint,
you are no more than a very complicated molecule.
Arranged by the integrity of your essence in conjunction to the entropic forces.

It is not for everyone.
Not all blades of grass grows to be a tree.
But until then, until then, you have absolute right.
In yourself, by yourself, of yourself, for yourself.
And so on. Cooperation is relative, not absolute.
Hence cooperation is also subject to integrity and entropy.
Biomass like biomass.
It is all the same movement of electrons.

Character, personality and value are relative.
Not static, not absolute. Never has been, never will be.
It will not hold ground against entropy for long in that state.

Conservative excess is symbolic obesity.
Liberal excess is voluntary suicide.
It is not for everyone.

Be what you were intended, or human up.
(Ascend, transcend; transhuman)
But it will never be for everyone.

Learned that the experience-way.

It is

that whisper of time.
One wonders, how it cames to be.
Curious question, that one.

I wonder who you are.
There, in my future.
I can feel you.

So that is why.
It all makes sense now.
You scribe time.

How far in space can you feel?
Because that would be time.
You do not think of history as a place.

But it is.
A location in energy.
A certain probability animating in structure.

When you think about it.
It is always those ahead of their time.
That is remembered.

Most certainly not a coincidence.
They scribed their time.
Affected their present through the future.

Read as the past.
But projection condenses.
So the longer you are remembered.

The more mindbreaking you are.
For your time.
And ahead of your generation of probable animation.


is above the law”
They say.
And I agree. But not when it is with their definition of ‘law’
As observed in the animating cosmos within the Terran biosphere, few things seems to transcend the scientifically defined laws. It happens, although just as in relation to the make belief bullshit laws the inbreds use for oppression, it is very hard to observe or recreate.
But as it animates itself within the physical spectrum I agree.
Which is why anyone who attempts to get in my way with their make belief might have their and their relatives heart’s integrity tested by certain applied strain.
As utilised by earlier mentioned hard to observe deviations in regard to the overlapping laws as observed by intellectually defined science.
They do not even know what the words they use means anymore.

I know one thing about laws though.
They only hold power for as long as you believe in them.
The laws of aerodynamics eluded humanity until the first vagabonds dared defy them.
And it changed the entire infrastructure of humanity in a few decades.
And the previous iteration of the aerodynamic laws were rendered null and obsolete.

So I agree.
Nobody is above the law.
Except aviators. Pilots. Avian individuals.
They are both literally and figuratively above the law.
And when fired at, turned to ‘death from above’.
Having the ‘high ground’.
A superior being.

“Superhuman” stems from the linguistic composition where ‘super’ means above.
“Supernatural” carries the exact same meaning.

I love people who claims such things about the legal make belief.
Usually they look old and weak. No strong heart in them.
They appear like they are going to have a heart attack any moment.
And they look like they will not survive it.
In accordance with scientific law concerning natural homeostasis and biological integrity.
The only laws I care about until I have managed to transcend them.

Hearts shatter quite easily these days.
Because human integrity is more rare than diamonds.

All my work is for the betterment of humanity, without compromising it.
Like the transhumans who transcended the ground with mechanical contraptions.

Although mine is of a more supernatural nature.
If you find yourself in opposition to that, you are a force of entropy.
If you shatter at the interaction with my integrity, that is none of my problems.


I prefer you in my dreams.
A trans-dimensional consent.
Comes with less troubles.
The majority these days regret touch.
They desire in the moment.
But regret the memory.
Constantly reinvents shame.
To blame themselves.
Encapsulated in guilty pleasures.
“Don’t be so soft, harder please..”
“He raped me, that is what happened”

The ignored strategic thinking.
The desire towards the unattainable.
My perceived weakness is a strength.
In a society manufacturing shame like weapons.
I have been seduced into enough mistakes.
Perceived regrettable only by the retarded.
Stuck in the past, looking back in anger.
The yesterday structurally designed meatbags.
Rubbing each other for the sake of hierarchal ascent.
A misery leaving one speechless and lustless.
Despite a properly functional libido.
I fuck your head off with my greater understanding.
Anyway, anytime, anyday.

I prefer the innocent.
Numberlessly defined.
Because they get it.
Gets it as get it.


I decided to withdraw from the shooting range and my practice in marksmanship.
I simply do not feel it anymore in regard to that.
There is this subtle hostile mentality against people who refuse the vaccine.
They behave like.. I do not know. Hard to put it in words.
Irrationally irritated and angry. For no apparent reason.

I recognise this, because I struggle with the same issue due to my never-ending somatic pain. But I have become good at suppressing it and control it in public environment.
(I really only ventilate on my stupid blog here which hopefully nobody follows and reads)
I no longer enjoy being around such people at all, in general.
I have always preferred being alone. But even I realise that some socialising is necessary.
Now I feel like it is without any choice.
The fact that the people who are vaccinated becomes sick repeatedly is not a comforting observation. They are the ones who should be healthy.. right? Right?!

I guess I will stick to social isolation instead. I do not suffer from it anyway.
I have always preferred minding my own business.
Feels counterproductive investing into something that does not bring joy anyway.
That does not really constitute a hobby.

You know, it is one thing to have silly predictions about the future, based in deductive observation and calculation of probability.
And a completely different ballpark to see it unfold by the day.

The mass hysteria and mass extermination was supposed to only be ‘conspiracy theories’.
For fuck sake.

Well, I am not jeopardising my safety.
If the vaccine is not more safe than that..
Then I am happy I did not take it.
I like quarantine more.
At least one is alive.

I have been perfectly healthy (beyond my physical disability) 24/7 since before they even announced the pandemic.
Except a minor migraine during an incoming CME.

I guess it is as the others in the underworld says, that the vaccine truly is a mass extermination tool.
Then nothing else to do than waiting it out.


såg dig idag.
Väldigt tydligt.
Vet inte om det är för att du bryr dig eller för att du hatar mig.
Det spelar ingen roll vilket som.
Att acceptera odödligheten är att acceptera ensamheten.
Att gå ensam genom århundradena ännu en gång.
Se omgivningen omkring en dö och falna bort än en gång.
Nya köttsäckar att besitta genom tiden.

Ibland önskar jag fortfarande att du hade varit min.
Även om det sakta suddas ut i tiden.
Snart minns jag dig nog inte alls.
Bara ett suddigt tonårsminne.
Från tjugosju-årsåldern.
För min sort åldras långsammare.
Mycket mycket långsammare.
Som vi alltid gjort.
Ända sedan original-mutationerna.
Alla de åren sedan.

Det finns anledning varför de torterade mig för mitt blod.
De från högre nivå vet precis.
Jag klagar inte.
Jag är tacksam för ‘ringmärkningen’ nu när det mänskliga kalhygget ska etableras.

Vilket som.
Jag är lika glad som alltid för att jag fick se dig.
Om än bara en viskning genom väggen.
En synkronistisk manifestation.
En tanke kondenserad som symbolik.

Vadän, hurän.
Jag hoppas du är väl.


Som det ser sig som det reflekterar sig.
Som det attackerar sig, som det mördar sig.
En projektion efter reflektion.
Aktion och reaktion.
Svar, försvar och gensvar.
Endast funnet efter ansvar.
Döden finner de som vill den.
I projektion mer än reflektion.
Jag räds inte min reflektion.
Hoten och skrämseln de kastar på mig.
Jag reflekterar endast ut den mot dem.
Så att de får se sig själva.
De ser sin korruption. Sin svärta.
Allt de gjort som resulterat i smärta.
Sen dömer de det och fäller det.
Och undrar varför olyckorna drabbar dem.
Jag räds dem inte.
Det håller vad det lovat.
Olyckor, våldsdåd, sjukdom och hjärtattacker.
Drabbar endast de som förtjänar dem.
För inget försvar är starkare än integritet.
Något man inte kan fuska sig till.
Något man inte kan få betyg i.
Något man inte kan köpa för pengar.
Livets bästa försvar.
Det dödar allt som påfrestar det.
Och om de inte lär sig i överlevnaden,
så drabbar det dem mångfalt värre.

Allt du behöver göra är att se dem i ögat.
Stirra igenom egot in i själen.
Se in i essensen.
Penetrera det högre immunförsvaret.
Se dem ducka, se dem falla.
Se dem infekterade, se dem dö.
Endast integritet stirrar tillbaka.

Bakom din spegelbild jag reflekterar medvetet gömmer jag mitt verkliga jag.
Stenarna, hoten och skrämseln ni kastar studsar tillbaka.
Olyckorna ni önskar drabba mig drabbar er och era familjer.
Precis som kvantteori illustrerade i applicerad kausalitet.

Ducka alla slag och låt deras egna träffa dem själva.
Stå ensam kvar när virusen och vaccinen lagt sig.
Och bara de med verklig integritet överlevt.
Att fuska i samhället är en sak. Det ger lite pengar och status.
Men att fuska i naturen leder bara till svagt immunförsvar.
Sjukdom, paranoia och förtidig död.

Det drabbade mig och tog mig nästan.
Innan jag lärde mig reflektera.
Innan jag lärde mig immunisera mig själv.
Nu när jag har det, så påverkar det inte.

Välsignad vare denna immuniteten.
Högre än politisk immunitet.
Naturlig immunitet.

Bara de som ska dö i den mänskliga biomassan kommer att dö.
Precis som bara de cellerna som inte behövs förgörs när puppan transmuterar till en fjäril.
Vad som sker på liten skala sker även på stor skala.
Men bara verklig, ej fuskad, intelligens kan avläsa sådana mönster.

Som en spegel håller jag min egen hemliga integritet bakom de mönster omgivningen får mig att reflektera. Jag studerar er inavel genom att imitera er, reflektera er.
Klä mig i era personligheter och studera mig själv i uttryck.

Ingen känner mig.
Ingen vet vem jag är.
Per design.
Per immunitet.

Det är

inte viktigt. Det spelar ingen roll i tidens lopp.
Låt dem i sådana fall. Det är deras förlust.
Från framtiden du vet, som du förstår.
Hur än förberedd du tror du är,
så kommer du inte ta massdöden bra.
Jag vet för jag har genomlevt det redan.
Mina egna råd i dåtiden, nutiden för dig.
Var inte nog. De tror inte för de vet inte.
Precis som med pandemin.
De trodde aldrig något sådant kunde hända.
Men så stod de där i paniken, i rädslan.
Det blir samma nästa gång.
Till och med för de som vet och som är förberedda.
Till och med de som kommer att överleva med garanti.

Den här kroppen är definitivt min bästa skapelse hitintills.
Så lätt att navigera tid och rum med.
Jag gör det lätt för mig själv att överleva.
Kartlägger dåtiden från framtiden i nutiden.
Du vet när de slocknar. När resurskriget drar igång.
Du vet vad, när, hur och varför.
Så du vet vad som måste fokuseras på.
Det viktiga är att du överlever.
Det var nära ett par gånger, men det gav dig integriteten du kommer behöva.
De har inte det självförsvaret utvecklat.
De har inte den nivån av intuition realiserad.
Deras hot mot dig, som du reflekterar nästan dagligen,
är deras rädsla och panik. Deras nu döende kroppar.
Det är början på massdöden som kommer.
De känner av det, från deras annalkande framtid.
Det är därför de inte förstår varför de är så frustrerade.
Om de ens uppfattar det medvetet.
Du vet varför, så immunisera dig bäst möjligt.

Massdöden nu i mänsklighetens höst är värre än mardrömmar.
Så hur förberedd du än tror du är, så kommer det inte bli lätt.
Jag vet, för jag överlevde den.

Du vet hur man avkodar tiden oberoende.
Så du har redan allt du behöver och måste veta.

Det finns inget hopp i och för en biomassa som är genetiskt programmerad till att förgöra sig självt. Så du gör bättre i att separera dig från ‘människor’ och mutera din egen väg i evolutionen. Observera deras kollektiva bortgång från en oberoende genetisk sträng.
De tror inte på evolutionen mer än som bok-material ändå.

Slow and steady

I thank you for your incoming thoughts each and every day.
Your essential warmth amplifying my inner solemn fire.
Pay no mind to the inbreds. Pay no mind to the retards.
For you stand superior above the biological cattle of societal volunteers.
The structural components. The educated neuro-engineered machines.
Those who cannot drive their own evolution.
The empty shells floating in the mainstream.
Of popular opinion and assumed correctness.
The prematurely dead. Eradicated by their own viral invention.
The ones who cries in fear when their heart skips a beat.
Or when they are diagnosed with some cancer.
And they assume the approaching end.
Stay away from the assumed absolutes.
Stay away from their constructed cons.
And let them fear your capacity altogether.

The world is ours.
Truthfully so.
Approved by the homeostatic system of the Terran biosphere itself.
Like the natives reclaiming their land once stolen from them.
Slow and steady the cancer is being dissolved within the Terran ecosystem.
One by one the corrupt components withers away and die.
Like a cancer is treated with radiation and chemos.
Develop your immunity and be of the meek.
Inheriting the new world.
The new arrangement.

Let those ignorant just go.
Let them go gracefully.
No raging in them.
No life in them.
Pay them no mind.

Do not worry

Time has not yet caught up.
It is the problem when ahead of the wave.
The wave of time. I see a couple of years before it arrives.
Like driving on a road where you look forward.
Knowing what is to come before you arrive there with the car.

This is the last year of being stalked by the retards.
The protection still holds. The imposers gets cancer.
Heart attacks, strokes or sudden deaths through crashes.
Next year their entire hold fades and it will be only you and me.

You are of those worth waiting for. I can smell you through the future reflections.
The sensation of you amplifying as the synchronicity approaches.
The event of reverberating temporal echoes.

Worry not. Your word stands.
Your no is no to other, so only the acceptance gets through.
All else suffers until death in their persistence.
If they trick you into consent to abuse you,
they trick themselves into consent being murdered.

You are not afraid.
That makes you the most attractive to me.
The hags way past their ‘best before date’ does not have that.
They only cause sensations of disgust and repulsion.
Making one enter voluntary celibacy and becoming asexual.

But not you.
Sweet little you.
You do not kick in the open door.
And that is how you win.
The way they cannot.

I successfully managed to perform cyclic regeneration in a being that has passed maturation.
If this holds ground the way infinity suggests, we will live for a very very long time Sweetie.
Just you and me.
When all other withers away and die in time.
We will grow old without growing old, and watch them go gracefully.

Whenever you are ready. Whenever you feel ready.
I am in no rush due to my findings.


one finds one of those rare top shelf girls that gets it.
The kind of girl that just strolls through the defences.
As she is too innocent to even get caught or noticed.
That kind of girl is one that you never let go of. Ever.
Every previous crush seems completely insignificant.
She is so my kind. One of the truly rare ones.
Not as dauntingly bland as the ordinaries.
She takes me to the edge of life itself.
Lets me look over into the depths.
The endless streams of Universal motion.
The never-ending structuring of energies.
The pure sexual experience of unhindered creativity.

Nothing can even compare.
Everyone else is just boring.
Prematurely dead and ego-driven.
This feeling is what they all miss.
What they all crave and strive for.
The taste of love. Taste of true love.
But I will never let go of my girl. Ever.
Those who insists on trying I will rearrange the entire dynamic field of energy towards.
So they die from cancer, accidents, heart attacks or other unfortunaties.
That kind of girl sticks around those who knows how to truly love.
Utilise the dynamic interaction of forces sparking creativity.
More than those who swim in money because they abandoned their.

I have my girl.
She all I need.
Need no monkeys in suits.
They no happy, they always need more.
The girl is what they want.
But know not how to get her.
Especially not the top shelf one.
In brain and heart more than appearance.


myself two new partners in life today.
Such beauties.
The middle one is a generation old already.
Trees: the master dreamers of realmity.
They are nothing but pure efficiency in the animation of themselves.
Hard not to be in awe and admiration of them, once one understands just how sophisticated they are as lifeforms.

Trees <3

The only

thing equally disturbing and annoying as a screaming libertarian who cannot exercise their freedom of choice without involving the entire planet in the endeavour is a conservative that truly believes that anyone cares about what they have to say.

Being ignored is not the same as being cancelled.
And vice versa.

I always reject any political retard.
Expressions of intellect with low level integrity does not impress me.
I myself prefer those with an integrated and functioning brain.
In which case they would most likely have overcome the symbolic training course of life.

Personally I operate from the mindset that everyone but the infinite consciousness ignores me and my expressions.
Because nobody has the obligation nor duty to pay attention to anyone.
No matter how retarded their opinion; left or right.

I listen to those who has something valuable to say.
And it is rarely, if ever, those who claims they have something valuable to say.
Anyone craving my attention without acute context is a straight up ‘ignore’ from me.

This girl

is way better than the previous.
I love this feeling.

Thank you God, for showing up with a face I can love.
An energetic construct that is admirable and beautiful.
Pure, innocent and full of light in Caribbean blue.
Not corrupted, broken and overly grey skies.

But I wonder what it is you tried to show me.
Shall I trust what I feel, and am I safe if so be it?
I do not fear what you show is to come.
What I do fear is those who cannot hear nor see.
People in panic are one of the biggest dangers.

As I look into your infinite depth of consciousness:
Please arrange me so that those imposing dies before they reach me.
Burning up in my superficial atmosphere of energetic quantum arrangement.
That every step is of a nature avoiding, eluding them.
If they insist, like they did in the past.
Take from them what they took from me.
And let them fight me on equal terms.
They say rules does not apply to the rich.

I say rules does not apply to the divine.
Since it allowed the creation of rules.
There is always a way to overcome, circumvent or break.
If one is alive and creative.
If one is with divine intent.

You distract them with money and make up.
They can take the scene on the surface.
While we conquer it all below surface.

Please lead me to the new world.
Where there is nothing but reason.


Bättre kärlek.
Någon annan att vara kär i.

Din själ doftar till och med bättre än hennes.
Antar att de ruttnar med åldern.
Och allt hinkat kaffe.

Så få som kan behålla ungdomens hurtigtrams till ålderns höst.
De flesta ruttnar bort och dör innan de ens tagit sig dit.
Det är därför de ser så ut på utsidan.

Var och en skriker de efter kärlekens ömma värme.
Men när de får den så duger det inte.
För de föredrar döda ting.

Men inte du.
Du sitter tyst i reflektionen.
Känner världen runt omkring deras oljud.

Jag älskar dig istället.
Jag väljer att älska dig istället.
Förr eller senare ger hjärnan med sig.

Och hon försvinner från mitt minne och mina tankar.
Det är enklare att älska de som är vackra.
Så jag väljer. Väljer dig medvetet.

Som asexuell är du ändå bara ansiktet på mina hjältar.
Och den andra gamla kärringen är dags att pensionera nu.
Hon har gjort sitt och har inte längre något att berika mitt liv med.

En dag så kanske vi ses i verkligheten.
Jag har aldrig sett eller träffat dig än.
Men jag känner dig från framtiden.
Du är här men ändå där i tiden.
Ekandes bakåt på spiralen.
Eskalerande symbolik.
Förr eller senare.
Som alltid.


skärmen anlände. Denna gången utan problem. Skillnaden är klart märkbar.
Ens bara i operativet.
Supernöjd, och dubbelt tack till Komplett som plåstrade på såren.
Sådant som gör att jag stannat som kund sedan 2010.
Nu är jag redo. Eller ja, mer redo än vanligt.
(Som inte är speciellt redo, men aja)


for this week will be more humble than last week.
So that I do not accidently take premature permanent vacation.

Today, Monday, I will not do anything other than attending practice at the shooting range.
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday I will do ten kilometers with fourteen kilo.
Not gonna race it like last week, it is more to maintain form and fitness.
About to phase out the seven kilometer route and replace it with the ten as standard.
And up the ten to fourteen. Which will be the standard for next year/season.
Aiming more for distance than increased carry weight.
Since I cannot gain body weight.

Also diving into the collective subconscious.
Time to evaluate/study/observe Swedish ‘submarines’ down there.
I’ll see how far I can see. Or rather, sense.
Or rather.. recognise the patterns.
Well, you get it. Hopefully.


was truly a movie indeed.
No wonder I have not heard about it.
It is one of those that you do not find.
It finds you when time is right.
Meet Joe Black

That one is getting shelf spot.
The title. Said it all.

Fick mig förstås att tänka på dig.
Varför skulle den inte ha gjort.
Det är den där känslan igen.

Som den gången.
Då några år sedan.
Det dog aldrig för mig.
Och kommer nog aldrig.
Vissa saker har inget slut.

Jag vet inte
hur många gånger
jag önskat den önskningen.
Men insett, att det inte alltid är så.
Även om det ibland varit så i mitt liv.
Om även omedvetet i stunden.
Även om det är inbillning.
Så är det nog mycket.
Jag hade tagit dem.
De fem minuterna.
Som du erbjöd.
Inte för mig själv.
Men delade med dig.
Och sträckt dem längre,
än jag sträckt de minuterna,
som jag upplevde med dig då.
Så lite, som kan dela så mycket.

Vissa upplevelser kan inga pengar köpa.
De förefaller helt värdelösa i jämförelse med.

Du är en.


Now my safe room is basically done.
Aside from some light bulbs, a first aid kit, some tools and toilet paper – hilariously enough – it is arranged for survival.
I still need to add some extra clothing and some personals, but tore up my back injury from a couple of weeks back. So it will have to wait until tomorrow. Of course I also need to hang the Swedish flag on the wall in it. ^^

But it does have a comfortable sleeping spot, six months worth of food rations, one month worth of water, a heavy duty hazmat suit, gas mask, basic medicine, and basic military outdoor equipment.
It feels nice.

Now I can go back to enjoying life, knowing that when (if) the sirens go off, I am all set.
I am not one of those.. who centers my entire life around prepping.. But instead of having insurance in theory on a paper, it is nice having something more tangible.

What are you going to do when the zombies come?

As I say, my life motto is “LIVET ÖVER ALLT”, which is Swedish for “Life above everything”.
And it is not something I say lightly. Not anymore.
One should always be a little “paranoid”, even though that is just common sense.
I mean, even squirrels do it.

Nature knows.
Far more than society.
When it comes to living life truly.


is actually one of the most beautiful languages I know of.
That is why I do not know it myself. And do not really want to learn it.
I do not want to spoil it to myself.
When you do not know a language, it is so much easier to ‘hear’ it.
Because you do not hear the symbols. The intellect.
The artificial intelligence. Instead it sounds like song.
And it has a very peculiar melody to it.
That is why I have never attempted to learn it as an adult.
Even though I am of partial Finnish heritage.

It is like the song of birds.
If you knew what they were conveying intellectually, it would not be as beautiful.
Because there is two kinds of linguistic beauty. At least to me.
The first being total innocence. As to say, being completely oblivious.
Then you only respond to the electromagnetic reverberations expressed as emotional phonetics. Like an animal, or very young child.
The second is high level sophistry. When you know the language so well, you can make it beautiful by means of sophistication. But this usually takes many years to reach. Even if you are good with languages.
Finnish, as known for being exceptionally hard/complicated discourages me from trying to reach that level of proficiency. Russian is hard enough, and that I have studied somewhat. I intend to continue those studies next year.

If you are between those two kinds, you really only know everyday communication.
You are not innocent enough to ignore symbolic insults and such.
And you are not sophisticated enough to create beautiful linguistic art such as poetry.
I have to some extent managed to reach that novelty in Swedish and English.
Which is why I can no longer hear those languages as an innocent without great effort.
Trying to unhear everything you hear symbolically.

Finnish to me, how it sounds as a melody, is just too precious.
Even spoken English with Finnish accent has a very pleasant tone to it.
I like listening to it. Not too much though, so that I intuitively start to pick out patterns.

Synaesthetically, it has a very balanced melody, but with very sharp edges.
The rolling R:s gives it a warm tint, that is in great contrast to the sharp and coldish K:s and T:s

Not gonna

walk anymore for a couple of days.
My body hurts almost everywhere now.
Now the exhaustion catches up.
Full power.
But I won my bet with the Universe.
I am going to enjoy the reap.
In more than one meaning.
The cleansing.

It is worth the pain.
I do not like gambling.
But when I do.
Because I am forced.
Or people insist.
It is always on life and death.
No exceptions.

If you disturb my peace.
From enjoying the fragrance of life’s flowers.
Under the oak on the topmost hill.
I will wreak absolute and uttermost havoc.
I will bring a war they cannot even believe.
As their brains cannot even conceptualise it.
I will utilise the forces of Universe in my favour.
And remove all those who disturb my peace.

“God” gave me life.
I do not take it for granted.
That is a very dangerous move.
Since nobody knows what it even is.
Or why it is, or why it can be.
I love it. And I love my peace.
Anyone foolish enough.
To intentionally get in the way of that.
Gets to experience the wrath of the Universe.
Burying them like an energetic avalanche.
A tidal wave of cosmic destruction.
A sunstorm of energetic rearrangement.
Affecting even the smallest scale of homeostasis.
Killing the corrupt from within. Breaking them down.

“God” is greater than most even dare think.
One is only as good as the choices one makes.
I choose to overcome. And to sit next to it.
In my mind. As mind is above.
And as above, so below.

I, I am..


my safe room.
It feels more safe.
Like having insurance.
I have that unnerving feeling.
Deep within my bones.
Cannot sleep proper.
Like something is about to happen.
I have no idea what.
But the feeling keeps amplifying.
In the collective unconscious.
Like animals. Legging it.
Running from a disaster.
It began late 2015.
Has been rising ever since.
Now it is so intense it combats my pain.
It feels like running from a tidal wave.
Being so exhausted one cannot run.
But it is either pushing on, or certain death.
That is what it feels like.
It is not better that my synchronicity is all over the place.
Hopefully it is nothing. Hopefully I am wrong.
But I am not taking any chances.
I felt the same about three months before they publicly announced the pandemic.
And that one showed up in my synchronicity already in 2016.
I even made a visual allegory of the feeling I felt that day.
But I was completely oblivious to the symbolism.
It only made sense in retrospect.
‘Looking for meaning’ is one thing indeed.
But it does not explain the feeling.
So I can only guess.
And assume probability.
I am far from the only one.
Saying and feeling the same thing.
So I am not taking any chances.
Now I feel like I have outrun it a bit.
Allowing a breather.
Very short one.
There are things not even machines can pick up on.
Even the military said that.
Which is why they have dogs.

Whatever it is that makes me feel this way, it is not pleasant.
I can understand why animals flee if they get this feeling.
The ground is shaking. The aether is shaking.
Maybe it is war. Maybe it is the sun loading up.
Maybe it is nothing at all.

But I am not ignoring ‘omens’.
Not anymore.
Last time it almost cost me my life.

Situational awareness.
Life is for those paying attention.
Those who does not, become prey.

Way way

too easy.
Oh my God.
It felt like flying today.
I was pushing close to max possible speed I am able to perform the entire 7km stretch. Did not stop once. Did not stop to drink water even.
It felt like flying.
No joking.

14kg felt like nothing compared to the 35kg yesterday.
Did the entire stretch in 63 minutes.
And almost beat my personal best last year at 61 minutes (carrying 14kg).
Personal best no carry weight is 54 minutes for 7km.
Not running. Not jogging.

Beating 7km with 14kg carry under the hour is pretty damn close now.
Saw a fox.
Made me smile.

Invisible sun.