Världens

manligaste mössa lyckades jag få tag på också.
Folk får ju mens i hjärnan när en har basker på sig.
Men det förklarar för mig varför de klär sig som utvecklingsstörda.
Så fick leta rätt på något mer civilt.
Även om min basker var lila och så civil som den kan bli.
Om ni inte har något hemligt förband någonstans med lila basker här i Sverige.

Banksy funkar alltid.
Symboliskt är det spot on.
Min hjärna är min flickvän.
Och hon älskar att “swing on the spiral”. (Tool – Lateralus)
Tänk dig typ.. The Prodigy’s Smack my Bitch up (musikvideon).
Fast omvänt.
She mah gal and a fecking God of imagination.
Det är nice att ha en hel hjärna, med båda halvorna.
Utan att behöva en annan köttsäck att släpa runt på i förhållande.

Frihet.
Fri man.

Ouch

did my seven again today. With 14kg carry.
All went fine and smooth, until there was about 500m left.
Then something burst inside. Probably internal bleeding.
Will probably have fever tomorrow.
Fucking fuckeli-fuck-fuck it fucking hurts.
It feels like getting stabbed (yeah I know how that feels, since I have been surgically operated on without proper anaesthesia). And suddenly the last 500 meters feels like 10 kilometers instead.
You want to cough. You want to vomit. The pain is mind-numbing and one has to struggle to maintain balance and to not collapse.

Fuck this shit.
And I am not even on 21kg yet.
Fuck this shit.

It is not the first time.
So I am not worried.
Same thing happened several times last year.
It will not kill me, it will only make me stronger.
Or at least more immune to pain.

Pic taken during today’s march:

I might only

have been around for close to 32½ Terran cycles.
But one has really lived a long life. And it is only about a third of the perceived normal.
Went through the oldest superficial manifestations in my morphogenetic field still in my possession.
So much shit I studied at the four different high schools I attended.
And I saved for fuck sake everything. The elementary shit as well.
I might not have done much in school during the health care.
But oh did I read those books at the hospital.

I love people saying I should not use “advanced words it makes me look pathetic”.
First: it is not advanced words at all when you know what they symbolise more than they intellectualise.
Secondly: I am not sure whether they are trying to convince me or themselves. If they feel the need to say it, it is probably their own ego playing mind-games with them.
I do not see them write much about the ‘advanced words’ they so much know how to use.
Thirdly: It is not even remotely for their pleasure or entertainment I write, so their opinion has slightly less value than a pile of camel shit in Sahara; that shit can at least be used to grow flowers.
Finally: I can only assume, out of such symbolic arrogance they propose, that it means that they know it all. I do not, which is exactly why I keep my endeavour going.
They seem to have given up already.
Maybe that is why they are depressed.
It makes them look pathetic. Just saying.
Like this amazingly beautiful song.

Anyway:
Every love letter ever sent to me, which has turned out to be a pile.
Every picture from girls back then. Which looks nothing like that these days.
If they are even alive still.
Every essay, every goddamn thing.
I even had glasses for a brief period in my youth, when I read the most.
Which I totally forgot. Found them at the bottom of a box

Thus far I have found at least ten cellphones in total.
Inherited my first Nokia 5110 when it was fairly fresh.
Still have it. And all after it except one that got stolen.
Bricked, shorted, burnt and cracked.

Well, the coming phases of my life will be way more efficient.
Removing all that shit out of my presence.
Well, of course not the love letters.
(I love the new remix – the old original proves itself)
It will be interesting seeing how the Universe reflects.
Since all in your presence affects your perception of the generated Universe in total.
It is a scalar thing. Therefore, literally: you change the world by changing yourself.
Those who attempts to change themselves through what they perceive outside of them..
Well, it is an absolute exercise in futility.
Because it is like changing your reflection in a mirror rather than yourself.
That is why I intellectualise.
Which is why I culture myself.
Definitely why I method act.
Absolutely why I morph.
Without hesitation why I become myself.
Rather than attempting to rearrange the externalised result of my become.

Thought of giving you a pic with my old glasses.
But it turns out my sense for fashion back then was .. different.
So my face will have to suffice.

Jag vet att DU gillar det.
De andra bryr jag mig inte om.

The

troubled state you enter when she asks you for a date through another woman.
Been there so many times. But I already know what those women want.
And it is most certainly not what I want.
They need someone to love and someone who loves them. Because they cannot love themselves. I do not sync well with people who cannot love themselves.

I need to acquire myself an engagement ring. For camouflage.

This is also about as structured body I can achieve with my level of nutritional uptake. Building any more muscles are exceptionally slow due to the compromised digestion.
I am constantly on the edge of supply and demand when it comes to energetic resources in my body.

Currently at 51kg body weight at 177cm length.
Estimated to about 5% body fat. As long as I eat normal.
Otherwise the weight drops harder than dubstep.
We may not grow money – But man we grow old – Man we grow old

För dig:

Det är inte

bekvämt. Men det är behagligt.
Definitivt behövligt.
Ungefär lika mycket som smärtsamt.
Mår som en död överkörd bäver när jag kommer hem.

Jag såg dig idag igen. I förbifarten.
BFF IDD <3
Jag blir lika glad varje gång.

Så bara för dig:
Har minskat vikten till 10kg i viktvästen, vilket är ganska precis 20% av min kroppsvikt.
Lite lättare. Känns inte som att hjärtat ska stanna varje gång. Helt åtminstone.

Town

View over the center of the.. town? I am living in.
And I am absolutely loving it. Especially during summer.
I am not much of a “people person”, so no opinion on the people here.
But had it had slightly warmer climate for a longer season, it would be perfection.

Summer is short but well earned.

For you

Apparently my morphosis comes in bursts.
That makes sense, because creativity usually does that.
When it is spontaneous and not too forced.
Could be a great deal of reasons for it of course.

Having to consider that, due to my disability, my body has to readapt its digestive system that has over the passage of thousands of years been developed. I am impressed with malleability of the human body. It is quite re-adaptive.
Once the nervous system has been properly wired in the bio-mass, both physiologically and neurologically – reshaping the biomass is just a matter of time and environmental fluctuations.

As of now, in regard to current climate, the morphosis is greatly hastened.
Heat, water and nutrients – assuming you have access to breathable air – is all you need.
When the body is perceived to be a biological building, the interesting stuff happens.
I have my mental compartmentalisation structuring itself as of now.
Consciously wired into the symbiotic nature of the scalar reality.
Both in the organic system of the planetary eco-system and in the artificial intelligence manifesting itself through mechanisms of the ego in the collective human biomass like an intellectual infection.

It is interesting being on the precipice of evolution, because you have to biologically build all the functions you desire. Perception is just a biological mechanism for how received energy should be handled within a certain portion of the overlapping energy spectrum.
That can be enhanced, extended and additional mechanisms for perception can be evolved.
Both externally through the artificial and superficial layer of the mechanical extension of the ego, and in biological function through neurological processing.

Thanks

for the sun, love.
You know how much I like it.
I have gained more colour than I thought possible now.
Getting my native nature back.

I love my Sundog Eyewear sunglasses as well.
Got a bit pissed at them for not shipping to Sweden anymore.
But there is Ebay.
Not the hugest fan of glasses, as it gets in the way of the source.
I prefer to look it straight in the eye; eyes closed.
But if I have to pick. To avoid looking too much at people.
Model accurately named “Freestyle”.

A(s/p)ex

Asexuality does not mean you lack a drive, to me.
It means that you have found ways more efficient in attaining pleasure.
If the sexual expression is about elevating pleasure, then there are far more pleasurable activities than rubbing piles of fat against each other.
Not saying that is not effective, it depends on where you place the point.

You do realise that even in the company of another, your brain is solely responsible for the perception and comprehension of the experience. And your sensitivity and receptivity is only as good as your brain can keep up.
Lucid dreaming, if properly exercised, can replicate whichever experience of sensation you desire given you have sufficient control over it.

So it is not that I do not have a drive.
It is just that I have found far more efficient ways.

The male component, in regard to its symbol, is the projective component.
It projects whatever; like I am projecting this intellectual construct.
The female component, in regard to its symbol, is the receptive component.
It receives whatever; like you are receiving this intellectual construct.

You have them both, it is a matter of how you have balanced them.
Without the female component you cannot properly receive pleasure.
Which is why so many people has an insatiable desire for completion through another.
I have both components, hence the lack of need for externalised practice.

My mind can pleasure itself through asexual reproduction.
As someone who has partaken in exercises of ‘fat-rubbing’, my personal opinion is that in 9 out of 10 cases, lucid dreaming wins by an unimaginable margin.
For it to be greater in the physical spectrum, both would be required to be consciously aware and in a lucid state simultaneously.

That is quite rare in people these days.
Most cannot even lucid dream.
It is also a common norm that the receptive component ought to be oppressed in favour of the projective. Hence why few people truly receives.
So many unsatisfied female partners (not necessarily women) out there.


For you, since you care.
You will never be able to take ‘her’ place in me.
Because I complete myself.
There is only one woman on this planet I romantically love in the conventional aspect of things, as I shaped my ‘she’ in the image of her.

The He
The She

Apropos

I love my hairdo, so it is not like I do not understand.
8 years of rather consistently careful and attentive produce.
All natural mix of goldish blonde color and silverish strands.
Would not want some ‘psychotic inbred’ eating it myself as well.
I mean, you grow it. So it is biological alchemy.

For

For me for you.

I like it.
It was either that or a white one. But I could not find a white one.
So I settled with a purple one.
And so it became the standard colour of TARSOF

I am loyal to anyone who is loyal to freedom of expression.
Because those realise what loyalty is really about. Beyond the ego.
Cannot betray or be betrayed by anyone if loyalty is truly understood.

Fail to synchronise however. Which could have troublesome outcome.

För dig

Tack för att du hejar på mig.
Fastän att du inte måste, eller kanske inte ens borde.
Som jag sa, när jag tänker på dig.
Vilket jag gör varje dag.
Tack.

Bara till dig, om än hela världen ser, ändå bara till dig:

Wonders

The point, as usual, flies above head of some people.
Here is the rhetorical question few seem to grasp.
If I can do this with my being, my creation.
What else stands to be made manifest?

Although I realise the futility in arguing with genetically driven piles of biomass, because they fail to consciously assimilate a functional conclusion – it is simultaneously somewhat encouraging. Because you can smell their fear and desperation, which is why they love projecting it onto other people.
Weakness is usually more noisy than it is silent.
Obviously as if seen to the battlefield.
Noise gives you away.
It is no different in the mental realm.
Thoughts as energetic constructs reverberates the entire environment around a person.
Then there are those aware, and those unaware of it.
Usually the ones unaware loves to project it onto other unaware or, especially, aware people.

So the rhetorical question remains.
If I can do this with my body, in regard to an evolutionary standpoint, consciously driven biological restructuring – what else can I do with it?
That is the question for the recipient, I already know my answer.
Since the answer is subjective, you can easily conclude which one is the creatively driven individual and which is the one who even fails to reach a subjective conclusion.

I like humans who believes that human evolution is at its end, and that current manifestation of humans are the final product. Because that mindset tells me that they are the current dead end of human evolution – since they are not driving it.

Not that it is not their right, of course it is. God-given, or Big bang-given or whatever else symbol they mentally associate to their source of creativity. I, subjectively, just find it weird. As weird as the conventional subject would find me.

I was left behind my entire life by the conventional.
Now the conventional cries when I leave them behind.
Which is weird.
In nature a season flower does not cry when it goes to death while the tree prepares for yet another cycle of life. To each their own expression.

HAO

This year I have the rank of two fingers.

And the sun, the golden cross on the blue sky, is sure as burning hot again.

Morphosis

Today allowed for assembly of yet another biological delivery solution into my homeostatic system, which is intended to hasten aspects of my ongoing morphosis. This primarily utilising the transdermal delivery mechanism.
It has proven very beneficial to my skin, as made manifest by the morphogenetic field.

So many interesting adaptogens to play around with on this planet.
If one is sophisticated enough in efficiency to harness their effect to a greater degree.
That is the reason for an efficient homeostasis, mental and physical.
Supposed natural resources are basically useless to an inefficient homeostasis, as the effect takes too much time to notice for the discipline to be sustained – and synthetic compounds such as pharmacological are basically just about functional, but not in an optimised manner.

The faster the resource circulation and energy distribution system of the homeostatic construct, the more efficient the manifestation of effect. Transforming a body is like transforming a society. Which is why I refuse stagnation, as it will inevitably lead to heart failure or worse.

I know far more of what I am doing than the people who worries that I do not.
Because their worry is sparked by their own inefficiency, and thus their fear is for themselves. By projecting that fear, they spread the contagious mindset of desire for control. Something that is not to be taken lightly in the potential effects and probable outcomes.
Why solutions for consumption should not be shared unless the partaker knows of all the risks. As a developed researcher I would claim to be well aware.

That would be the more scientific explanation why TARSOF refuses to share its findings and developed solutions to the public, but reserves such to proven recipients. As the solutions, if applied, could potentially cause harm in the subject.
The problem when you experiment on someone/something other than yourself is that you never know how you will react to the same thing completely.
The problem when you experiment on yourself is that it is tremendously hard to replicate the findings in another subject due to the adaptogenic nature that inevitably follows with the increase of sophistication – assuming success.

I am happy to conclude that my, as well as our, research has proven quite..
Well..
I cannot speak for the comprehension and conclusion of your perception:

Achievement (thus far)

As of today I have just about 400 kilometers of truly measured distance.
(Approximately 600 with uncounted distance included – such as daily trips to the store and the shorter 3km track I do regularly and do not count – as I consider it exercise for the exercise)
Of which 320 kilometers is with carry of 14 kilograms.

It is slightly worse than last year when I was pushing myself much harder. Around this time I had about 550 kilometers documented. And it was around this time I began seriously pushing myself more due to the warmer climate. (Easier on the rheumatism)
Did a total of 1760 measured kilometers last year, of which 1460 was with carry (14 kilograms or more) – Have no idea what the uncounted might be.
This as the challenge I gave myself was to walk the entire stretch from where I live to the Red Square in Moscow (~1431 kilometers the bird’s way) over the period of one year.

This despite the pain and suffering it caused me, as I am missing at least one vital organ in my body due to the impositions of the health care.

I am early retired due to my disability, but if people think I have given in or given up they are fucked in the head beyond any and all help.
That is why I hate it when some fat fuck claims I do nothing.
Unless they beat my effort, they should sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up.

14 kilograms is 27% of my body weight.
So start doing the math if you want to beat me.
Just do not get a heart attack.

Picture from June last year wearing my 14kg weight vest:

Summertime

Spent two hours in direct lovely sunlight today.
And as a true man, I do not use protection.
My body can handle it. Easy.
If some cells die and shed, they are not fit enough to remain in my colony.
The ‘corona’ only kill the weak ones.
The strong ones adapt.
Tan is coming on fine.
In other words.

And TARSOF will not disclose nor share its findings in any field with the public.
TARSOF is of the firm belief that all transhuman endeavours are a personal choice and undertaking; thus fully respects those that opposes such ideas for religious, ethical, moral or personal reasons.
Neither does TARSOF accept new members.
Each research team for themselves.

Eureka

Further major breakthroughs in our age extension research!
This calls for celebration.
The TARSOF research team is yet another step towards progressing beyond ordinary human limitation.

Our method to reset the life cycle of the cell has proven very effective.
And if one cell, then why not the entire body?
All time and effort invested has proven very fruitful.
So much so, that I can allow myself to relax and return to casual blogging again.

The synchronicity never lied.
And if this proves to work over time, we will enjoy the pleasure of watching generations die while we last.

Survival of the fittest.
Death of the fattest.
Life is never a test.
And glory favours the fastest.