(Totally accurate picture of me)
Although I believe myself as the artist to be of little importance to the art itself, here follows a brief summary of myself.
I was born in the later part of the 80's (so I never got to experience its glory myself) in Sweden.
I am of almost half Swedish heritage, and more than a third Finnish heritage. I also have a large
part Karelian heritage and a slight trace of Russian heritage.
Somewhere in there is also a tiny bit of Native American. (According to DNA analysis and documented heritage)
I am very proud of all my major heritages, being
Swedish, Finnish, Karelian and Russian. The Native American part I am very honored to carry, although it is very small.
I really like being of such diverse ancestry, because that proves to me that I am not too inbred.
In my DNA analysis my genetic composition is very solid, with no carrier status or heightened risk in what has yet
Science does not lie, right?
In terms of linguistic proficiency I really only speak Swedish and English fluently. But aside from that I know like three words in Finnish. I know a small amount of Russian. Not really to communicate in a conventional fashion, but enough to compose or translate in that language if I want to with assistence of documented material. Aside from that I know a small amount of French, German, Dutch, Greek and some Latin. As I have acquired a rather huge vocabulary I am able to realize word patterns to a great extent. Not only in terms of symbolism, but also phonetics.
As I am a writer I usually do not speak, so my skills are more in written text than in speech. I also attempted studying some Hebrew at one point, but that is the hardest of all scripts I have studied, so I put it on hold for the future.
I suffer from a particularly aggressive autoimmune disease. I am also due to failed treatment physically disabled.
The treatment was beyond fucked up, and what the surgeon did to me is beyond corrupt. I would show the
pictures I took of it if they were not so fucking disturbing.
It was not very bad in the beginning, but the moment I turned to the health care everything got worse.
They fucked it up completely. The disease was initiated probably because of the stress induced by the forced
school system. Stress itself can cause cancer and major diseases. I was not sick in my early youth, the
disease itself began manifesting when the stress of the forced system of dead people was introduced into my life.
(The people who sell their soul and do whatever they are told by their superiors to their fellow man for a paycheck so that they can have a fancier car and bigger house than the neighbor)
If I were to describe my situation with three words it would be "pain, pain and more pain" (yes, that is three words) as I suffer from almost daily internal bleedings. I am also constantly exhausted due to raging inflammation in the body. Sometimes it is calm enough for me to almost maintain a proper lifestyle, but usually I have very little energy. It is like having fever about two hundred days every year - in combation with the pain it makes my life almost impossible to enjoy. The worst part is that you cannot see it from the outside, so if you did not know it, you would not notice it until I faint or collapse. This is also because I have trained for many years to ignore the pain to such extent that I show little to no signs of it in public. But it is constantly there, and it is draining af. At least that is the best way to explain it. It is really hard to explain so people who does not have it understands. But whoever that philosopher was who said that pain is the best tool for progression, had at least half a point.
My situation is the reason why I have spent so much time on my studies and art. While the art may appear simple it is anything but. When it comes to art, people should not really judge by the looks of it, because the inspiration behind the composition is what makes it what it is. Some people have asked me, if my art is just a bunch of symbols mashed together in order to give a 'mysterious look'. And depending on who you are the answer differs. To me it is not as every piece of imagery in my opus is carefully crafted. Every piece in every image is put there for a very specific reason. As to create meaning of itself and in relation to other symbols in the image. But the translation is of little importance, what is of importance is what you take from it. How you choose to interpreter it. Depending on your gathered intellect you will have different levels of experience from it. So, it could be a bunch of symbols mashed together in order to give a 'mysterious look'. But someone highly intellectual could look at the images for hours finding new meaning in them, whereas others brush it off as just trash. But so it is with any art, not just mine. It is very non-linear in its style, at least in the opus, because that is the style I enjoy the most. Basically my entire opus is the byproduct of my studies. It was originally not intended to be shared. The reason why I have made it black and white is because that is how I feel a lot of the time when people look at my art and judge me for what they perceive in my art. They judge me instead of their own interpretation of the art. And that is the black and white thinking which is of the most people. So it is essentially a play on concept hidden in plain sight.
As a person I am despite what many believe not really an introvert, but rather an ambivert. I tend to
be introverted most of the time by choice, but I can switch to being extrovert without major trouble.
It simply depends on the situation and company. When I am among people and take on an introverted
character, that is in most of the cases because the company is boring, or more accurately put,
not as interesting as my own mind. But in the right company, or under the right circumstances,
I can be fairly extroverted. I spend a lot of time alone, but not really by choice. It is
because of my health situation. This has led many people, mostly my former friends and
acquaintances to believe I am anti-social. But it is really all down to me not having any
real choice in the matter.
As I have spent so much time sitting still and in loneliness I have forced myself to master my skill of attention and observation. Therefore I am a very quick learner. Attention is really like a muscle, the stronger your attention, the longer the span you can activate it. In this age of attention disorders it is not hard being mentally stronger than most people. And the more activation, the more recollection through learning. As one learns more, one understands the principles of observation better, and from that can realize patterns manifesting. This has led me to having quite a high IQ. I have done some official supervised tests with great result. I am positive that one can improve ones intelligence, because I was not even remotely as intelligent as I am today when I was younger. Maybe I had the foundation for it, but it still does not change the fact that I have improved it. A lot. When you spend a lot of time alone and in stillness, you master the mind in ways most others do not. Simply because they are too distracted by whatever drives them the most. Most do not even listen to what they themselves say.
Hobbies and interests:
When I do not do art I enjoy air rifle marksmanship (and sometimes rimfire).
Although it is really hard in these times due to my health situation.
I used to be fairly good, and in my youth I performed on high level; former national champion with the help of my
sister (who is even better as she was multiple national champion in different disciplines)
and another person in .22lr team composition for that age section; 8th place in individual performance.
My brother performed on high level as well in his youth, 8th place in individual national ranking as well for his class at the time.
I also enjoy actual painting, and usually bestow my paintings upon carefully selected 'victims' like a kid who gives their
piece of art to their parent so they feel like they must hang it on the wall not to make the kid sad.
My skill is not that much to speak of.
I am also a herbalist in real life and have experimented with over hundred herbs at this point. I have also worked extensively with minerals and a wide variety of semisynthetic compounds, as well as a few animalic reagents in my practices of alchemy. Primarily in my pursuit of transhumanism (the sane aspect of transhumanism, not the fucked up aspect) and conscious modification of the mind and body.
I also really like the concept of subversion, and use it as an artform through intellectual acting. As to say, I formulate alters through which I express myself in the collective reality. Like Roleplaying, but far more calculated. I have played many intellectual roles now, and it has helped me a lot to understand this reality. It is like seeing the world from other peoples perspective, because you cannot do that until you truly pretend to be like them. So in a sense it is like actual acting, but it is done without the physical form. (Although I often extend my intellectual acting to physical expression as well, such as clothing and behavior)
Further from that I also enjoy gaming, or to be more accurate, playing games. Because I really only play by myself. To me playing games is like looking at art. Since my intellect is starting to become of fair size, I can extract quite a lot from the games I play. As at least half of the gaming experience takes place in the mind, the greater the mind, the greater the experience. The only thing I dislike is me being so disrupted by the pain when I play, which makes it very hard to focus on the 'gaming' aspect. Therefore I rarely play multiplayer games, because I am bad, and stopped doing it when I was told I weighed down the team. Trying to learn and play League of Legends was a nightmare I will never attempt again. But I do look forward to Classic World of Warcraft. Because you can get away with some retardation. Or more accurately put, it is a MMO game that is centered around far more than just simple amphetamine-levels of micromanagement. This without compromising challenge (Talking Classic now). The casual RP-aspect of the game in regard to social interaction is a complete game in and of itself.
I am also a huge fan of music. I love art in general, but music takes the crown. I tried making music a period in my life
but I never really got it back then. I am no singer and I cannot really play any instruments
(more than the symbol-keyboard, like a true max-level keyboard shaman with full legendary who has downed everything to endgame).
But on the other hand I have never really invested any greater amount of time into it
(yet, maybe one day - I have a talent for succeding to some degree in most of the things which I try nowadays, as I do everything with my whole heart).
But nevertheless, I still love music beyond what my words could tell. And there is not much music which I do not love.
The more soul one puts into it, the more I love it. You can feel when someone actually mean what they do, sing or play.
Or like Eminem eloquently rapped it:
"Music is like magic
there's a certain feeling
you get when you're real
And you spit and people
are feeling your shit."
I am not that kind of person that tries to compare bands or genres, or lock myself into a certain type of music or stereotype. I think that inhibits ones experience of life. I have found great music in every genre thus far. Sure, the mood changes, so some days some music does not fit, and other days it is perfect. Only in a monotone life would a certain genre be absolutely perfect all the time. So the music which I have linked and recommend in my work are of all kinds and genres, and I really like all music. I am also not that kind of person to whine about artists or bands changing, change is only natural. To be so obssessed with old works that you despise the new works is like loving the leafs of a tree from the past season more than the leafs of the current season. (However, selling out is an exception to this concept, because things changing for the sake of recognition is not genuine. People dislike that for a reason. As to say, change should be for valid and genuine progression, not for imitation, tryhard or trying to replicate a successful formula; "selling out") Rap, rock, metal, blues, house, trance, synth, industrial and whatever they call it, everything has something great, both in the mainstream and deep in the indie. Because it is not about the style itself, it is about the expression. If you are true when you do it, shit will come out brilliant.
Despite what many people would like to believe about me, based on expressions I have made, usually in character, I hold no political opinion (I do not vote - there is no party anymore which supports my kind anyway - in truth that is, they may say they do, but saying is not doing; today they care more about likes on Facebook and their only reason to pursuit the political game is the fancy paycheck that comes with it, but they have no care whatsoever for the people - more than in a superficial sense that is, gotta keep a 'good reputation'), nor do I affiliate myself with any particular religion. I tend to lean a lot towards Christianity, but only in terms of sane fundamental values. Basically all religions says the same thing if you scale off the bullshit and mindcontrol. I do however try to respect any political and religious affiliation. Belief and opinion does not hurt anyone, until it does. The less one is adherent to it, the less one will take damage from it. Thus I do try to stay out of it, as I do have enough pain as it is already. I do not judge, there are enough judges out there already. And Evil loves judges, as they do its work for it. Evil cannot throw stones by itself, it needs people for that. Gullible and naive people who are willing to sacrifice their integrity for the superficial. A genuine judge with great judgment and legitimate judgmentality is profoundly rare, since very few people base their judgment on wisdom but rather on prejudice and preconcieved beliefs. Or even worse greed and jealousy.
Another thing which I often got questions about. No, I am really not part of anything. No culture, no societies, no clubs, no cults or anything. I am part of some organizations, but they are not hip enough to become conspiracy videos on Youtube. I am not really a part of the Swedish system due to my disability and health situation, but I do my absolute best to partake in it and contribute what I can. This artwork of mine is in a sense a tribute to all the tax-payers in Sweden (even if some of the art does not seem like that). They have supported me financially, indirectly because of the system, for which I am very thankful. Tax-payers may not think so, but I am, since basically everything on this website exists thanks to the Swedish tax-payers: without them my brilliance would not be as I would not have survived. That is the simple truth. But that means the true hardworking tax-payers, not the corrupt politicians that have abused them as much as they abused me with their corrupt system. I love Sweden as a country, with its ancient culture and people. The system has major flaws, but such is the nature of cancer.
In these times:
The sad part is that my body is failing. Early 2019 it looked really bad, I recovered some. But it is not getting better. In complete honesty I do not expect to live much longer. A couple of years more if I am lucky. My spirit is very strong and my mind and will as well. But my body is simply too broken because of all the shit it has been put through, both by myself when I was out of order and the corruption of the system. I made this website because I wanted it to be some sort of Monument of myself when I am gone. It will disappear eventually, but so will anything and everything.
The most important thing for me right now is maintaining my getting out of here. Most people will not know what I mean
by that, and it does not matter, because that is by design. That is how this realm was intended to be. Few are those who
truly knows about the collective dream we live in. Many have a vague idea, but most believe that it is fiction or whatever.
This realm is not what it used to be. Both because of myself, but mostly because of those who run this show. They no
longer knew how to supply towards the demands of their flocks. So it got messed up and now it is all chaos. But it does not
matter to that which created this collective dream we live in. As long as people are obssessed by it they will want to stay.
In one way or another. That is why they sell out to politics, to fundamental religion, to war, to materialism, to greed,
to causes, to whatever. It keeps them occupied and distracted from realizing what they truly are, why they truly are,
and what this truly is. Why this truly is. It is their right, because it is their lives. But I myself am not amused.
I am not entertained. I was for a while, but you cannot really love this show when the majority of the audience is
completely fucked up. They ruin it, even the most delicate and beautiful of art. That which makes this realm and life
truly enjoyable and worth participating in.
So dying to me is not a bad thing. But I know the rules of this realm, and how to break the incarnation cycle and amnesia that comes with it. That is why I do all I do. I cannot defend my reason to leave if I did not do it properly. If I say that I did what I could, it is legitimate, as the reincarnation weight gets transferred to that one who wants the spot more than me. This is also why suicide is regarded as to result in forced reincarnation. But the one aspect that is still viable is active passive rejection. You do what you can until you can no longer do it. It looks different depending on who you are. But those who knows the true rules of this collective dream knows what I mean.
One must fill ones quota. However one does it is up to each and every one. That is why I have done what I have done. Because by doing it, people began fighting over the spot I do not care for. Which will have them locked in the cycle in my stead.
Life in this collective dream is like playing a game on a certain server. Most are completely addicted to it. Like a gamer is to a game. But there are other games, and other servers. But as mentioned, the absolute majority of people cannot remember that, because they have been locked in the cycle here for so many lives now.
I really do not want to be associated with my art directly. I am the creator of it, sure, and I am very proud of it. But I do not want to meddle between it and the experiencer, or affect the opinion of the experiencer too much because of who I am. This brief presentation is really only for some extra context.